Letters to the Editor
Political Views, April Fools
Reader Can Do Without the Political Agenda of The Docket
As a dues paying member of the Denver Bar Association, I did not appreciate the editorial by Mr. McQuiston. This has nothing to do with condoning only actions of the former president or Senator Clinton. It has to do with what we should have a right to expect from a publication of the bar association.
First and foremost, we have a right to expect that our bar association will be non-political. For that reason I take strong offense to Mr. McQuiston's "opinion." Obviously his opinion is the opinion of The Docket because he is on the staff.
If The Docket has a political agenda count me out. I'll subscribe to the political publication of my choice.
--Raphael M. Solot
A Perfect Mix of Government Groove
The great performances, the hits and the excitement are back. We have languished in the uncertainty and fog of the appearance of impropriety for too long. Now our favorite rhythm makers are back and the old sound will be great. Gifts will be accurately logged and contributions dutifully channeled.
We can now dub the great lineup of Washington leadership "George W. & The Moral Hi-Tones!" The president carries to the national stage rhythms from Texas and sounds from Connecticut and Maine. Folks can revel in Bush and Reagan golden tunes. Now we're out of the back woods.
Get ready for Dick Cheney's reprise of "Chain of Fools." This tune, long associated with the Queen of Soul, will see new strains echo the chief's many choice appointments.
Colin Powell might be featured in sure to please Reaganesque standards, "Where Have All the Flowers Gone," "Wooden Ships," "The Green Berets," "War" and "Turn, Turn, Turn."
Donald Rumsfeld can bring out golden oldies from his Nixon era tenure, spotlighting "Ohio," "Hurricane" and "Who'll Stop the Rain?"
The fun lies ahead. Don't expect a reprise of "Chattanooga Choo-Choo" (". . . Pardon me Bill, there'll be some money for the party . . ."). These bandmates may not make a road trip with a half a tank of gas, a pack of cigarettes and sunglasses on at night, but they'll bring back the good times.
". . . Re-Re-Re-ReCESSion, . . . Just a little bit, . . . Just a little bit . . ."
Gonzo Attorney Says No to Aspen Law School
To the fatback editors of The Docket:
This country needs more lawyers like Nixon needed another boil. Yet I read in your deranged rag the savage news that a bunch of hideous, scurvy, scumsucking brutes are opening a law school in Aspen.
The thought of a law school just up the road from me, puking up another generation of heartless, fatbellied, cowardly swine, is enough to send me into a chemical frenzy. Even though the Freak Power movement failed to take over our government 30 years ago, Aspen and Pitkin Counties have remained nice places to live. This is still a community where a man can fire off an Uzi in a wretched and debilitating, mescaline-induced, terrible hellbroth of a night, without the jackals and other twisted, savage freaks causing a scene.
There is only one thing to be done: we must save ourselves from the fear and loathing brought on by these unspeakably savage pigs. The good people must hunker down; bang these scum like gongs in one rotten, stinking, fiendish nightmare of a purge. Smite them hip and thigh.
It's a brutal thought, but this swill can't be allowed to survive.
And enough of all that. Pass the pipe. Selah.
--Raoul Duke, Woody Creek, CO
The Joy/Pain of April Fools
Great April Fool's issue! Wick (Downing) started reading his first and yells to me from the dining room table, "Aspen's starting a law school!"
It was quite painful for him until he figured it out. Then he read the whole thing cover-to-cover and kept yelling to me from the dining room table, "They've got one about tripling the CLE requirements." "They've got one about a court dress code." Har har har. "Here's a personal. Some guy seeks mate who doesn't mind phone sex on a speaker phone." Wahhh ha ha ha.
Anyway, for a guy with a limited sense of humor, he got a big kick out of it. So did I. I'm going to copy the piece on the new CLE requirements, and every time some airhead lawyer calls me and says, "Mary, how many CLEs do I need by December?" (like I have a little file on everybody's CLEs), I'll fax them the article.
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