New Apps for Lawyers’ Phones
by Dick Ott
There are many good iPhone applications out there for lawyers. There are so many, in fact, that it is easy to become overwhelmed with the possibilities. Here, The Docket provides a list of the most useful applications for lawyers. Many of these apps can also be used for Blackberrys and similar phones. The Denver Bar Association endorsed the following apps on April 1:
1. Blood Alcohol Level: Type in body weight, number of drinks and timeframe to asses a possible blood alcohol level for yourself or your client.
2. Portable Polygraph: A dangerous app, this one analyzes the voice, stress levels and timbre of another’s speaking and uplinks to a polygraph service that provides an instant analysis of their honesty.
3. Local Rules: This app lists the idiosyncrasies of every judge in Colorado and lets you know where you can set your briefcase down, when you can say, "Yer Honor," how to approach a given Bench, and when to immediately leave the courtroom.
4. Public Speaking Focus: Point the phone directly at that tough crowd and the screen will immediately show an image of the individuals in their underwear.
5. Hang Up App: Another great lawyer app. Allows you to point your phone at someone who is engaged in a loud or obnoxious conversation and cut off their call.
6. Theme Song: Allows you to play your theme song as you stroll into the courtroom and take command of your environment. Songs range from the Darth Vader theme song in "Star Wars" to "Gypsy Woman." For those of us who like to have a little fun, there is also a Michael Jackson song that comes with visual instructions about how to moonwalk to the podium for argument before the court.
7. IOU: An app that when you point your phone at a client, it calculates the current status of the client’s bill, outstanding costs and a projection of the eventual bill. A secondary app also calculates the odds of actually being paid by the particular client.
8. Rear View: Allows you to see what you look like from behind in case you are not paranoid and other people really are laughing at you.
9. Briefcase GPS: With the tap of the screen, this app will locate your briefcase or purse, in addition to lost documents, pens and eyeglasses.
10. Jury Buddy: Allows you to calculate the biological processes of jurors in your case! You can calculate the best timing based on attention spans, where women jurors are in their menstrual cycle, how long it has been since a given juror has visited a restroom and the effect on any argument you or opposing counsel are making. This useful app also can be used to discern the same information from judges, witnesses and anyone else in the room.
11. Sports Talk: When you have to deal with sports-obsessed judges, lawyers and clients. Interprets nearly inaudible mutterings about recent sports events and trends, and suggests possible shouted or sardonic replies, allowing the other person to think you know what you are talking about.
12. Does This Go: For the visually uncoordinated, it reviews the clothing you are wearing and offers helpful tips about your outfit. If you tap "Delete" without changing the disapproved outfit, an electronic cartoon eyes roll as a voice says, "You’re not wearing that to court, are you?"
13. Catch Phrase app: Reviews your case file and suggests catch phrases that a jury or judge can hang on to, including such classics as: "If it doesn’t fit you must acquit" and "If it walks like a duck, talks like a duck and swims like a duck, it is a duck" and "You know what they say, if you wanna play you need to pay." Hundreds of other classics on a quick pick.
14. Mocha With A Twist: Evaluates opposing counsel’s coffee drink and tells you whether they are a wimp or somebody to contend with.
15. Body Language Interpreter: Wondering what the jury thinks of you? Point your phone with this app at the panel and you will know far more than you can handle.
16. It’s His Fault: A brilliant app that immediately lists 15 reasons why anything bad that happens is someone else’s total responsibility and why you had nothing to do with it.