Denver Bar Association
February 2013
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Love and Lawyering: Putting Dating on Your D cket

by Natalie Lucas

A

s another Valentine’s Day approaches and I am without a date, I wonder, did my law degree somehow deflect Cupid’s arrow? With billable hour requirements, working late in the evenings, and spending some weekends preparing for trial, who has time to focus on dating and meeting someone new?

 

Although I meet many male counterparts in the legal field, our interactions do not always lend themselves to romance, particularly when a conversation starts with, "If you don’t get me those documents by Friday, I’m going to file a motion to compel."

When I do have free time, I hardly want to spend it on a blind date. Nor, after spending an afternoon poring over online legal research, do I want to spend a bleary-eyed evening surfing online for eligible bachelors.

The Opposite of Romance

Dating isn’t all champagne and chocolate-dipped strawberries, but at least those less-than-perfect dates make for a good story. Three Denver attorneys share with us some of their more memorable adventures in dating.

“When I was planning the evening, my date told me not to go to one restaurant because she and her friend were caught stealing silverware — because they didn’t want to buy any. From then on, I had to make sure I kept an accurate count of the place settings!” —John V.

“I was dating a new guy and was excited to spend Valentine’s Day with him. He made a reservation at a nice restaurant, and I thought everything was going well, until he pulled out his cellphone and started showing me pictures of his ex-girlfriend.”
—Kari D.

“When I was in college, my boyfriend went to a school about three hours away. After giving him a guilt trip about not being very romantic, he set up a nice candlelit dinner in his fraternity house. I got lost on the way there and was a few hours late. I want to say there was a snowstorm, but I think I just got very lost. This was before cellphones, so I could not give him updates. When I arrived, his fraternity brothers were making fun of him and the dinner was cold. To top it all off, my gift to him was a book titled, ‘How to be More Romantic.’”
— Anonymous

 

However, as another Valentine’s Day approaches and I am still single (Did I mention that?), I am vowing to put more effort into dating in 2013. For those who may be likeminded, I have included some ideas for busy professionals to meet potential mates.

 

Online Dating

According to an article published in the February 2012 edition of the Psychological Science in the Public Interest, online dating has lost its social stigma. If you haven’t tried it, now may be the time. The benefit of online dating is that it allows users to immediately rule out those who may have unsuitable traits, such as smokers or ultramarathoners.

Match.com and eHarmony (eharmony.com) are the most advertised online dating services. Match.com boasts a large and diverse user base. The site also has started hosting singles events in Denver for people to meet in person while bowling, cooking, or sipping cocktails.

eHarmony claims to be more focused on people looking for committed relationships. This online dating site requires users to complete an intensive questionnaire before registering, and then the website will send potential matches to you based on commonality in your questionnaires.

Both Match.com and eHarmony charge a monthly fee. If you don’t want to pay for online dating services, there are plenty of free websites out there. Friends have recommended OkCupid (okcupid.com) and PlentyofFish (pof.com).

When you do connect with a potential date through an online service, make sure to meet the person in a public place, and be selective with the personal information that you immediately share. Whether you should identify your career as "lawyer" on your online profile — well, that is the subject of a whole separate article.

 

It’s Just Lunch

It’s Just Lunch (itsjustlunchdenver.com) is a service that arranges casual dates over lunch, brunch, or drinks after work for busy professionals. It requires a fairly substantial registration fee up front, but the organizers arrange the dates for you. It’s Just Lunch might be the way to go for those who want someone else to do the matchmaking.

 

Meetup.com

If activities are more your style, another avenue of meeting people that enjoy similar pursuits is meetup.com. This site connects people who enjoy similar hobbies and activities. If you are trying to find other singles that enjoy hiking fourteeners, tasting wine, or reviewing new books, meetup.com may be a site to check out.

Some groups are focused on singles connecting, while other groups are open to singles and couples who enjoy certain pastimes. Either route may be a good way to take part in an activity that you enjoy while meeting new people.

 

Singles Events

We are fortunate to live in Denver, the city of never-ending sporting and social events. Some events in Denver are tailored just for us single folks. 5280 Magazine will host its annual "Single in the City" party on Feb. 15 at the Exdo Events Center. Tickets start at $35, but you can get a discount if you get yours at one of their retail locations. For more information, visit bit.ly/VIBjqe.

If you’re looking for a more unique event before Valentine’s Day, you may want to check out Yoga Speed Dating on Feb. 9 at the River, a new yoga studio in Denver located at 1212 Delaware St. This event is for singles in their 30s and 40s and combines yoga stretching and speed dating. The cost is $30 in advance or $40 at the door. For more information, visit bit.ly/XJwIXK.

Singles events go beyond February. For example, organizers of the Skirt Chaser 5K, a coed race where women start off the race and men follow to "give chase," boast that it’s a great way to get some exercise and to meet other fit singles. The event is generally hosted in June (skirtsports.com/skirtchaser5k/denver).

When you do score a date, consider leaving some of your "lawyering" skills at home. Don’t run a criminal background check on your date (or at least don’t admit to it). Don’t treat the date like it is a deposition. And, don’t try to end the date with a closing argument on why there should be a second one. With that advice, I wish you (and myself) luck in all dating endeavors in 2013. D

Natalie Lucas

Natalie Lucas is an attorney at Pearl Schneider LLC practicing civil litigation. She has been a member of The Docket Committee since 2006. She can be reached at (303) 515-6800 or nlucas@pearlschneider.com.


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