Signs of Abuse

There are behaviors and attitudes that may indicate an abusive relationship. The presence of any one of these behaviors or attitudes does not always mean there is abuse present in the relationship, but a combination or ongoing pattern of these behaviors and attitudes may be due to an abusive/unhealthy relationship.

Look for physical signs of abuse. (Sources SD and CBA1)

·          noticeable bruising and lacerations that may be explained by clumsiness

·          noticeable change in emotions, i.e., becoming withdrawn, showing a flat emotional state, or increasing display of emotions

·          decrease in verbal communication

·          startling easily

·          dressing differently, such as long-sleeve and high-collar clothing and sunglasses inside (to cover up injuries)

·          noticeable change in use of makeup (to cover up injuries)

·          being the victim of vandalism or threats

Company health service workers may observe additional indications of abuse:

·          physical injuries or gynecologic problems as part of a pattern of injuries or trauma

·          evidence of being usually “accident prone”

·          injuries to areas that can be hidden (on the head, neck, chest, breasts, and abdomen)

·          injuries during pregnancy

·          multiple or repeated injuries

·          chronic pain or pain without visible evidence of injury

·          physical symptoms related to stress

·          frequent visits with vague complaints

The absence of visible signs of physical assault does not mean it is not occurring. Abusers become very skilled in ways that are not easily detectable, i.e., inflicting blows only in areas of the body where clothes cover the injuries or inflicting blows to the head.

Listen for statements that may indicate isolation, intimidation, threats, emotional abuse, economic abuse, sexual abuse, or controlling behaviors are occurring in an intimate relationship.

·          “I don’t see my friends and family as much. My partner doesn’t like them . . .”

·          “My husband/wife wants me home right after work.”

·          “We aren’t going to the company party because my husband/wife says I spend too much time at work.” (Source SD)

Listen for statements that are self-blaming, self-critical, or indicate low self-esteem.

·          “My partner is right, sometimes I am so stupid.” (Source SD)

Watch for nonverbal cues between a person and their partner that may indicate abusive/controlling behavior. Such as the following:

·           The partner answers all of the questions you ask the two of them.

·          The person may look toward his/her partner for signs of approval or disapproval when responding to your questions.

·          The person may have poor eye contact and closed body language, may appear withdrawn or uneasy, tense, and anxious when her/his partner is near. (Source SD)

Watch for other behavioral signs of possible abuse: (Sources SD and MSEC)

·          increase in absenteeism or tardiness

·          increase in number of personal phone calls

·          increase in time off for medical reasons

·          insistence on leaving work only in the presence of other co-workers

·          increase in the number of work mistakes

·          change in attitude about work

·          lack of ability to focus

·          acting uncharacteristically moody, depressed, or distracted

·          disruptive visitors to the workplace

·          disruptive phone calls or e-mail

·          tendency to remain isolated from co-workers or reluctance to participate in social events

·          discomfort when communicating with others

·          sudden or unexplained requests to be moved from a public location in the workplace to a less public location

·          frequent financial problems indicating lack of access to money

·          sudden changes of address or reluctance to divulge where she/he is staying

·          court appearances

·          talking about a troubled relationship

·          minimizing and denying that abuse is happening

·          using third parties to manipulate the victim, such as asking co-workers to relay messages to the victim which might sound innocuous to the messengers but which the victim might find extremely disturbing

·          missing work for reasons that do not seem plausible and making mistakes that are not consistent with her/his previous work record

Abusers' strategies may indicate additional signs of abuse:

·          The most common form of sabotage an abuser will use is getting into a fight with the victim the night before or morning of a key event (such as a job interview, taking a GED test) resulting in injuries or sleep deprivation, causing the victim to miss the event.

·          The abuser may hide clothing, uniforms, etc., to prevent a victim from going to work.

·          The abuser may promise daycare or transportation for the victim and then disappear or be too drunk to follow through, purposely sabotaging the victim’s efforts to go to work.

·          Many abusers file false police charges, including child abuse charges, forcing the victim to spend a lot of time in court, resulting in missed days from work. Even valid court cases involving the abuse (protective orders, divorce/custody, prosecuting the abuser) can tie up a victim’s time in court.