You deserve to be safe! A safety plan is a plan you develop to reduce the many different risks generated by your partner’s past, present, and future behavior. The effects of the abuse, violence, and control go far beyond any one incident and even beyond your home.
· A safety plan is only one step in being safe. It does not guarantee your safety. However, it is important to consider ways to reduce the chance that you, your children, or your co-workers will get hurt. (Source CBA2)
The goals of a safety plan are to reduce or eliminate the risks caused by your abuser, regardless of whether you stay in the relationship or leave; and to reduce or eliminate risks that occur in everyday living, regardless of your relationship, such as job and housing changes or changes in children’s schools.
You can provide safety planning for your children, and to some extent, they can also participate in family safety planning. They may be able to call 911, run to get help from the neighbors, hide, or do other things to assist or stay safe.
You may find it helpful to talk with someone who has helped other women in situations similar to yours. Domestic violence programs have advocates who can assist you in developing a plan, along with a list of things you can do to keep you and your family safer. (See Community Resources)
Safety and security plans should be tailored to meet your needs. Here is a general list of items you may wish to consider when making your plan.
Safety Plan for Your Workplace. (mostly Source TCFV)
· You may be able to reduce the effect that domestic violence has on your job with proper safety planning. Things to consider when creating a workplace safety plan are:
o Give a picture of your abusive partner to the security staff and/or receptionist.
o If you have a protective order be sure it is current. Discuss it with security, the company’s human resource director or employee assistance staff, or your supervisor.
o Review the safety of child care arrangements.
o Ask for help screening phone calls.
o Review your work schedule with your supervisor and ask about changing your work hours.
o Ask about changing your work station.
o Try to park close to the building for easier entry and exit. Ask someone to escort you to and from your car.
o Use a variety of routes driving to and from your home.
o Provide an emergency contact person in case you cannot be reached.
· If you need to leave your community, ask if your company has a relocation program and if you are eligible.
· Review your daily routine and think about how you can change it to keep you and your children safe while you are at work.
· If you feel comfortable, tell someone at work about your situation. A trusted co-worker may be able to help you by looking out for your abuser, calling the law enforcement if your abuser threatens you at work, or providing support. Think carefully about whom you want to tell. Will he or she keep the information secret? If you do not feel comfortable telling a co-worker, there are other steps that you can take.
· Making changes at your job could help you stay safe. These changes may help to reduce the chance of harassment by your abuser. Things that you may want to consider are:
o Changing your telephone number or extension.
o Routing your calls through the office receptionist.
o Keeping your home address and telephone confidential.
o Requesting a transfer to a different desk, department, shift, or work site.
o Having a security guard or law enforcement officer escort you to your car or to the nearest public transportation stop.
o Locking the door to your office or department.
o Registering your protective order with the security department or personnel. You should include the employer’s address on the restraining order.
o Posting a picture of the abuser at the security desk and informing the security guards not to allow him or her into the building.
o Requesting a flexible work schedule.
· You may want to change how you get to work if your abuser knows your normal transportation habits.
· If your abuser knows the location of your child’s daycare, you may tell the child’s caretaker about the abuser. You may give the caretaker a copy of any protective orders or custody orders you may have.
· If there is office security, make sure they know who the victim and perpetrator are; what shift the victim works; where the victim’s station is located; the security response protocol; when to call the law enforcement; what will initiate the call.
Safety Plan for Your Home (during a violent episode). (mostly Source TCFV)
· Make a safety plan that you can use if you need to leave your home quickly.
· If an argument seems unavoidable, try to have it in a room from where you can get away easily. Stay away from rooms where weapons might be available, such as the bathroom, kitchen, and bedroom.
· Identify doors, windows, or stairways that allow you to get out of your house quickly and safely.
· Identify neighbors that you can trust. Ask them to call the law enforcement if they hear a disturbance at your house.
· Use a code word with your children, family members, friends, or neighbors when you need them to call the law enforcement.
Safety Plan for When You are Preparing to Leave Your Partner. (mostly Source TCFV)
· Make arrangements to go to a place that is safe, such as trusted friends, family members, a hotel, or shelter. Know ahead of time where you will go, who you can stay with, and whom you can borrow money from if you need to. Keep a shelter or hotline number on you at all times.
· Keep a bag packed and hidden that contains clothes, personal hygiene items; money, credit cards, extra checks, or a checkbook, bank books; medications; important papers (protective order; you and your children’s birth certificates; marriage license; children’s immunization records; titles to cars or other property; insurance documents; lease, rental contract or house deed; social security card; welfare identification, if needed; driver’s license; tax returns; passports or other immigration papers; divorce papers; custody papers); important phone numbers; anything that has sentimental value that you do not want destroyed. If children are involved, include their clothes and personal hygiene items along with a few toys/stuffed animals.
· Hide the bag where it will not be discovered by your partner. It may be necessary to gather these possessions over a period of time.
· You might also want to take your jewelry; pictures of you, children, and abuser; and any letters containing threats.
· Hide an extra set of house keys and car keys in a place that is easily accessible to you.
· Open a savings account or credit card and have statements mailed to another address.
· See an attorney about your options.
· Contact the Department of Motor Vehicles and change your ID # if it is the same as your social security number, and request that your information be kept confidential.
· Only call the abuser from a pay phone to prevent her/him learning your location through Caller-ID.
Safety Plan for When You Establish Yourself in a New Home.
· Change the locks.
· Buy and install window and additional door locks.
· Install a phone in a room that locks or purchase a cellular phone and program 911 into it.
· Discuss a safety plan with your children.
· Get a court order to inform schools, day cares, etc. who can pick up your children and give photos of these people to them.
· Get a court order to inform neighbors and landlord that the abuser is not to be in the area and to call the law enforcement if they see him or her.
· Give photos of abuser to these people.
· Ask a trusted friend or relative to call you each and every day at the same time.
· Enroll in a self-defense class.
· Trade cars with a friend or relative to prevent abuser from finding and following you.
· Request a new phone number, have it unlisted, be selective about who you give this number and your new address to, and always use the blocking code when calling out to protect your phone number.
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