Why Does Domestic Violence Happen? True or False?

An abusive person is someone who loses his or her temper too often. True or False?

• False. Although someone who abuses may have a “bad temper,” domestic violence is more than a passing mood. It is a pattern of behaviors that abusers use to have power and control over their partners or family members. Many people who abuse will do so even when they are not angry.

People who abuse tend to always act abusively toward their partner. True or False?

• False. Some people who abuse may become apologetic and more loving after the abuse, often as a form of manipulation. This cycle of increasing tension and violence, followed by what is sometimes called a “honeymoon period,” can make it harder for people who are abused to end the relationship.

Abusers may act quite normal in public or social situations. True or False?

• True. It is possible that you may know someone who acts violent at home, but shows no signs of being an abuser in public.

Drinking or using drugs makes someone become an abuser. True or False?

• False. Although many abusers are intoxicated when they become violent, alcohol and drugs themselves are not thought to cause the abuse. And, research shows that abusers who are recovering alcoholics and addicts still tend to be abusive after becoming sober.

People hit their partners because the partner won’t stop talking, yelling, or telling them what to do. True or False?

• False. Abusers hit people because they feel the need to dominate the relationship. The abused person can act demanding or passive and may still be hit. And, it is common for people who abuse to tend to blame their partner for the abuse.

The person being abused can make the abuse stop. True or False?

• False. The only person who can stop the abuse is the person being abusive. The person being abused can take steps to protect himself or herself or increase his or her safety, but she/he cannot stop the other person from engaging in abusive behavior.

People learn how to become abusive. True or False?

• True. Violence is a behavior learned in abusive families, on the schoolyard, from the media, and from many other violent social behaviors. On a hopeful note, violent behavior also can be unlearned: people who believe that violence is an acceptable behavior also can learn that it is not acceptable.

(Source FVPF2)